Here’s the face behind every little ramble that’s posted on notwilliamfaulknerspeaking…
I had this really pretty intro under this section that sounded light hearted and perfect. But that’s going to change. I want you to know the hard truth about me. I want you to know the raw parts of my life when you read my inner thoughts. I want you to truly know about me. This blog is real, uplifting, vulnerable, and everything I wish I had the guts to get in front of an audience and say.
From one of my first blogposts, you can tell my heart has been broken. I dated a guy for nearly two years. I had a plan for my life. I had everything set out before me, but that just wasn’t God’s intentions and I’m so thankful for that. The relationship was sweet in its beginnings and holds some very dear memories. He was my first love. In that, I learned how to love a person as unconditionally as I could at that age. This helped me see a glimpse of how Jesus must love me. Yet, things went awry. I did things I’m not proud of and learned that during that relationship, my happiness relied solely on him. I learned that he took the place of Jesus and was made an idol in my eyes. I learned that people change. I learned that sometimes when you’re young and in love with a guy who isn’t whole heartedly seeking God…things get messy. You begin to alter your standards, boundaries, and values to keep the other happy. I also learned that whoever you give your happiness to has the power to crush it.
I went through a dark season of shame, guilt, and regrets for those compromises once he left me. I lost trust and hope in love, because the love I had experienced was not unconditional and faithful.
But I found myself, and I found this blog. I realized what true love is and that only the Father can satisfy my longing for it within my soul. That I will never feel complete without surrendering and seeking Him as my first love. I found grace, and am learning to live in freedom each day. That’s why this blog exists. Because my heart was broken, but my soul was healed. My passion is to tell every heart broken soul out there that you are loved and cherished despite what anyone decides. It’s my personal message to myself as well. What I preach on my blog and open up about is selfishly what I need to hear. But I know if I need it, then someone else does too.
So if you’ve read this far… you know why I write what I write. You know why I think what I think, and why I feel what I feel. Thanks for reading this with an open heart and lack of judgement. We’re all a mess, and I think this blog just helps us learn how to embrace that and what the Cross did to cover that mess.
Ashley Faulkner (Not William)