Looking back on the past five months of my life… I am overwhelmed at what a work God has started within me and around me. He has completely transformed my heart each day, and He has made His presence known.
On this breezy Tuesday afternoon, I’m thankful for so many things. I’m thankful that I somehow managed to make it through my first year of college. I’m thankful for my mom and how God has healed her heart. I’m thankful for this blog and how it shapes me as a person. There are so many things to thank Him for over these past five months…let alone my entire life. The favor He shows me, the love He pours upon me, and the light He shines through me is too good to be true. I can honestly say that He has whisked me off of my feet like never before.
If you could rewind my life backwards five months, you would’ve seen a girl crying to God. Yelling at God. And even ignoring God’s affection due to misunderstanding.
Rewind my life backwards seven or so months, you would’ve seen a girl who was living on the outskirts of God’s will but doing her best to try to please Him, while compromising a lot of her values.
Rewind my life almost exactly a year ago, you would’ve met a girl who wasn’t saved but sat in a church every Sunday living a lie.
When I gave my life to God last June 14th, I would have never in a million years believed I would be living the life I am today. If you would have told me I would write and post it where people could actually read it, I would’ve laughed. Because for a while my thoughts were kept tucked away in a journal for no one but myself to read. If you would have told me I would be single and spending time alone with God, I would’ve been upset. Because a year ago, I was attached at the hip of a boy who I thought hung the moon and stars. If you would have told me that I would delight in worship and lift my hands during a song, I would’ve shook my head back and forth. Because even closing my eyes during a song was a big step for me when it came to worshipping God.
Ever since I gave the steering wheel of my life over to God last summer, He has started to make enormous changes. From relationship status to friendships to levels of faith and so so much more. He truly has filled me with a greater joy. He is 100% for me. He has given me blessings after blessings. Whether it was one that I welcomed with open arms, or one that seemed like a disappointment at first. He has never let me down.
Over the past five months and even the past almost year, I have been tasting and seeing that the Lord is good. I’ve learned that there is nothing better but to stand before God and speak with raw honesty. To be authentic and live a life that displays nothing but that. Because while I declare how good He has been to me right now, I was not shouting this let alone believing that He was during multiple times over these past five months. But the secret I have found to reaching new levels with God is to be honest about every emotion you feel with Him. When you’re honest, there is nothing to hide. No locked door in the house of your heart. He’s got all access when you’re honest. I’m beyond thrilled to love a Lord who loves me, delights in me, and is pleased with me when I am an open basket case before Him.
Thanks for everything, Jesus! But especially, thanks for these past five months.