You are a new creation, so stop living and treating yourself as if you aren’t one.
If someone would’ve told me this a month ago or so, I would’ve been forever grateful. But I think sometimes the sweetest lessons are the ones we learn the hard way.
On June 14th, 2015, I surrendered my life to Jesus. I remember searching for God always and coming up empty handed weeks before. My soul felt restless. Then, that Sunday I was all in. It felt like my heart was being grabbed and pulled. From growing up in church, I automatically thought, “No no God you’ve got it wrong. I’m saved. I know I am. I shouldn’t be feeling this.” But, in my heart I knew God was asking for me to declare my faith and fully open the door of my life to Him. I remember my prayer. “Father, forgive me! Forgive me!”
The next few months I was radically changed and eager to grow in the word. I went through trials and gained great faith as God brought me to mountain tops. Life was pretty peachy. But, I started to live for other people and not God. And when you start to live for people, your happiness lies in their hands. I would revert back to my ways of worrying due to my lack of focus on God, and then be told over and over by people dear to me that I really didn’t change. Slowly, I began to live the life of the girl who didn’t know Christ. I kept living in the old, when I was made new. And let me tell you, living in the past kept me from living at the level God wanted for me. People I loved betrayed me, the enemy took my fears and doubts for a joy ride, and my self worth was at an all time low. I didn’t want to walk into God’s presence because I felt like He wouldn’t want me if I confessed what I had been doing. It was an up and down battle. Some days of victory and some of defeat.
But, that’s all changed.
I started going to The Door. I experienced worship in a new light with new people who were in awe of God and weren’t afraid to live a life that attempts to walk in such a way that you see Jesus when you talk to them. And tonight a messaged was shared that shipwrecked my heart and what I had been feeling. The pastor, Andrew, shared a dream about driving through the mountains from mountain top to valley, back and forth. Then, the valley was flooded to where he couldn’t go back. He said it was a message from God for the people who have gone from trusting Him to relying on themselves and reverting back to their past. But God was going to flood those valleys of your temptations and the past. I bawled, because that was me.
I share this little ramble to say that if you’ve received Jesus, you’re a new creation and you never have to live with the guilt or shame of who you once were. You are NEW. That is my heart’s deepest prayer–to believe and live as the new creation God crafted me into when He took hold of my heart. You are a new creation. Brand new. Think that over and over until you wake up one morning and your heart is healed and you whole heartedly see yourself for what you are, which is new and righteous.