A “thank you” to the guy who broke my heart..

To whom it may concern,

I never really thought I would be writing this letter. Truth is, I thought we were intended to last and that this letter would never ever exist. But it does.

You broke my heart, my trust, but I would like to say thank you.

I could list all of the bad things you did with intense details, but I won’t. I think there isn’t an innocent party in this break up. I was wrong when I would worry constantly during that last month of us–worry that your heart was no longer mine, that I wasn’t enough, and that something in you had changed. You were wrong, too. And that’s okay. Thank you for being wrong. Thank you for shattering my heart and leaving me. If you hadn’t, I would’ve continued to put you ahead of my Savior. If you didn’t leave me, I’m not sure what I would’ve done out of desperation to feel loved by you, probably something I would’ve regretted for life. Thank you for letting me realize that people in this life have free will. Thank you for opening my eyes and showing me that I deserve a man so rooted in Christ that when I look at him, I should see Jesus and feel loved despite my faults. Thank you for seeing someone else after only two months of being broken up after two years of being together, because I was forced to learn how to truly forgive you. And maybe one day you’ll learn to treat her the way I deserved to be treated. Or that you’ll figure out that there is a difference between the girls you marry, and the girls you casually date.

I don’t say any of this to paint you as a bad person. Your heart is one of the most beautiful I’ve seen in a while, but like Ecclesiastes says, “People are good, but they have found all kinds of ways to be bad.” I hope one day you find your way back to the caring person you once were, and I don’t wish for any pain to ever come your way despite the excruciating heartache you inflicted upon me. There were nights where I couldn’t breathe in between sobbing and replaying the very moment you used God as your way out to adventure the wild side of life as a single guy. For weeks, that excuse was on repeat and I felt like God wasn’t on my side. But thank you for telling me it was God, because I whole heartedly believe He used your free will to shield me from who you were becoming.

So, thank you. Without these scars on my heart, I may not have realized these things. And I may not have realized all the beautiful people around me, because for the longest time I depended on you for my happiness.  Also, I may not have realized that God was going to use my gift of writing to reach others. I pray life treats you well, and if God wishes maybe our paths will cross again. But for now, I would just like to say “Thank you.”


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