You are not stuck. That phrase was in my drafts section, and I thought it was time to publish it on the internet for you, myself, and even the devil to read.
You, my friend, are not stuck. I know there are these little chunks of time in our lives that seem super mundane and are nowhere near where we think we should be. I know, because that’s me right now… for the thousandth time. It’s weird, because I know this season too well, but I also recall past seasons where I felt like I was doing something meaningful and the presence of the Lord was so evident.
Yet despite my knowing, here I am still sitting in what seems like a desert of waiting on callings to be fulfilled, desires to be granted, and yearning for God to speak something into my life. It’s like a revolving door that the devil uses to keep me stuck in one place, moving but not improving, making me think that there’s no way out. If only I would stop going through the motions to realize there’s been a clear exit all along.
You are not stuck.
I’ve learned when these seasons come, that I’m not supposed to be that girl whining about why He hasn’t called me back yet. I am not just stuck on read and waiting for God to come back and show me blessing and affection. God didn’t just decide to leave me hanging. That’s not Him. If we trust scripture and believe that God is our Father, we’ve got to know deep down in our core underneath all complacency and moody feelings that God loves us with an everlasting love. Last time I checked, you don’t ignore someone you love with an everlasting love.
Remember the most famous break up line in all of history? “It’s not you, it’s me.” Yeah, that rings true for once in this scenario. It’s not God, it’s me. Whenever I’m sitting and feeling stuck in the whirlwind of my frustration, disappointment, and complacency, I am lacking a heart overflowing with the spirit of contentment.
Truthfully, I haven’t been content at all. I often describe this season in my life as a waiting season to people. But really, every season is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest and has specific assignments in the midst of waiting. Jesus himself said that He came for us to have “life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Meanwhile, here I am wishing I already had a big girl ministry job and a husband. Missing sweet moments and opportunities. Just throwing them away and looking up to God like, “This isn’t good enough. This isn’t the abundance I want.”
What would happen if we turned each complaint, each disappointment, and each hope for the next thing into thoughts of thanksgiving for what we have now?
Philippians 4:11-13 says, ” I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
Over Thanksgiving break, the Lord subtly showed me how abundant my life is at this very moment. I was given more responsibility at work, which led to extra pay that will allow me to live more abundantly than my normal broke college budget. I also ran out of hangers when trying to put all of my clothes up in my closet. So much so that I had to leave stacks of clothes on my closet floor and buy more hangers to put them up. That sounds silly to call that abundance, maybe a little materialistic. But majority of the overlow in my closet came from the generosity of others, not my own bank account.
Where I see the weight of more responsibilites and a lack of the latest trend, God sees provision. Where I feel abandonment by my Father, God promises in His word to never leave me (Matthew 28:20).
It’s not that He’s not here, it’s that I’m unaware.
So while I wish this year of being 21 looked a lot different, I’m convinced that if I got my way, it wouldn’t really be enough to keep me satisfied. You can’t have Jesus at an arms distance thinking that what He gives you could ever replace relationship with Him. I’ve learned that all too well. Here’s to being content in this chapter of my life. Being purposefully content depsite every flawed and fickle emotion I feel.
That’s why when my photographer friend took this pic, I smiled. Because I could spend every waking minute upset with where I’m at and miss out, or I could consciously make the effort to truly enjoy the people I’m around and the task at hand in this season.
You’re not stuck. You just need a shift in perspective. Same life, same responsibilities, but living it through the lens of contentment. Because, God has lavished upon you abundant blessings for such a time as this.